when i said i lost a kid ...i meant it....wednesday when i dropped gaven off at school he was having a hard time....i was harping at him to get in the van...in my defense i had been standing at the door for 20min and had two other kids, one currently with a fever...so....it was all my fault (ahem) for bitching at him... when i dropped him off i felt bad as he walked away from the car all mad...one thing i remember from my childhood was my mom saying how much she hated sending us off being mad at eachother...i empathize now...because well...i am a mom...
so i thought it would be nice to pack a lunch for him as a surprise and drop it off to him. i packed a lunch, sprinkled it with halloween candies and decided to throw in a short and sweet note;
gav~sorry for how this morning turned out. i don't like to send you off to school this way, maybe tomorrow WE can both try harder.
love ~ momma
p.s why don't you walk home today in the sunshine.....enjoy the time to think...
well.....he must have seen 'love momma' and that was it.....he shoved it in his desk without reading the ending. so 3:30 rolls around....i'm working hard in the yard like i have been for a few days. 3:45 okay it takes a little while to get home...and i told him to enjoy it...almost 4...i now have a dog on a leash and go to walk around the corner and meet him....but he isn't there...and he isn't at the park...and nope not down the bike path either....SHIT......so i call his best friends mom...she also works at the school... nope.....but she now has people looking for him...i have now walked to his school and am heading back when meg says "i'm going to your house to sit with your kids"...oh ya...those kids that i left in the living room (who didn't even notice because they were sick watching cartoons) because i thought i was only walking around the corner!.....i'm now walking fast...heart and mind wandering through worst case..... and meg calls...."gavens at your house"......
"mom you never showed up so i waited almost and hour and then decided to walk home" ....that would be a different way home than i was walking. nice. he then told me he put the note in his desk and didn't read the whole thing (must have been embarrassing , words like momma and love...oh my)... we talk about it...make a definite plan and route for the 'what if scenario'...all is well...
and then.....the phone rings...it's now like 7pm...it is the office lady at the school. penny. she is wondering if i had found gaven. ?????? so i had told gavens friends mom that i had found him but i guess she had put out a lost child message around the area right down to what he was wearing.....come to find out it had gotten to be bigger news than we knew as we sat inside playing the game of life by the fire. it now included 3 school faculty, some of the cap kids and kids playing outside, and they had called the school counselor. she reassured me that she knew i was a proactive parent and i would have called the police by now but she was just wondering what they could do. about the time i started telling her how we went different ways.....eli blu started throwing up in a bowl while stumbling across the living room. nice.
so that is the story of how i lost another kid.......another? why yes. eli blu disappeared for a brief moment at a cracky portland park....jen was there and experienced the whole thing. now she knows that sinking feeling and how quick it can happen. luckily eli blu just has a strange thing for public bathrooms and felt the need to wash his hands in one....it was all but 3min maybe but never forgotten....
oh and that time at the beach this spring when luci was playing hide and go seek when we realized.. "wait...no one has found luci in a long time".....had several adults running around when we found her on a toilet waiting to be wiped..... for the love of losing children....
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