Balancing Bliss

in between.....

right now we are somewhere in between turkey dinner leftovers, sale ads, pumpkin pie, shopping hangovers, mess everywhere.....AND.....new CHRISTmas lights, where to put the tree, and breaking out this;

thankful....

throughout the year i show my gratitude for the gifts of my family, so today i am going to share a few little things around our home today that i am grateful for;

 

my first turkey platter for our first thanksgiving in our first home....

 

affordable christmas wreaths from costco...

 

discovering what our trees look like now that the leaves have gone and putting up birdhouses for the little winter birds out my kitchen window....

 

my first apron which i plan on wearing today while making the feast...

 

giving a home to 2 pups from a shelter......

 

pumpkin pecan creamer that is so good i don't even need to treat myself to a dutch...

 

my grandmas fresh cranberry coconut cookies.....and double batches to share with neighbors....

 

giving a good warm home to 2 kittens from a shelter and one more out of a paper who just might secretly feast on some bird in the garage today....

 

a new rusty orange platter for fresh veggies....

notice there was a lot of 'new' things....2 reasons...1)because i was feeling a little sorry for myself that i offered our home to a family for thanksgiving and they turned us down a week before, that we are never invited to brians family thanksgiving, and that families just aren't what they used to be where you travel home and gather ....2) because it is our 1st thanksgiving in our new home so i will celebrate by gathering a few mature things for my kitchen to be used for many more thanksgivings.

so grateful for my family, my home, my friends, my talents, living in a green state,employment, our healthy little children, warmth, and most of all my husband who has provided me with more security and love than i ever thought possible....i love you brian

crafty goodness....

spending my morning doing this;

 

finishing up  a little something something before i head out of town for another girls weekend at lisas. we are celebrating her turning 40 again. i love to embroider by the fire...it feels so peaceful to be in your head with your thoughts and nothing else. i might take up crocheting so can create more time like this for myself over the winter.

did a little bit of this, this week;

 

and finished the eye candy for my creative space....almost finished...they need ironed and adhered to interfacing...but the creative process is complete...will hang them on my wall this week and post again..

 

 

off to make kettle corn and cupcakes.....and off to a weekend full of laughter, amazing food, and surrounded by creative souls......

on this windy fall day....

 luci girl and i made the most of this dry day. we worked hard shoveling all the raked leaves which is quite comical in a wind storm. these two were much help also...

 

petie and rascal are learning to fetch. they would always chase it but they are finally getting the bring it back part, which is usually done in unison. as you see if only one dog has it he can't carry it right without the other. it looks like he is conducting music or smoking.

today i am also grateful for;

the colors of fall that lines my walk way

firewood

 

and my new HEMP converse that my hubs scored me for only $11.....i guess others don't appreciate one of my favorite natural resources. smile. 

and now that my busy weekend is over, the kids are all in school, and the fire is roaring....i might get to that sewing project that oh so inspired me a week ago.

rewarded....

this boy has a heart of gold and an attention span of a goldfish;

 

to have to sit down and read is bitterly painful, to sit in a desk is work, and to keep listening to an adult talk is ridiculous. it's not that he isn't a smart boy...he is, but it's keeping his attention that is hard for him. eli blu is such a good boy. wild but good. he helps others and is kind. at his school you get rewarded for such things and get bee slips that you turn in for prizes. eli blu hit the motherload. once a year they draw 2 kids to ;

 

ride on a fire truck!  the fire fighters came to his class and escorted him out in front of all the kids where he  got to check out the truck then GET IN and drive around town. they take them for an icee and return them after recess. who do you think is going to be cool kid today!?

 

 

 

little bits of our week.....

i started almost everyday with one of these....i made pumpkin muffins with fresh cranberries and a cinnamon glaze...had to make two batches

we are enjoying these two more than i thought possible;

we KNEW we would love them. after all we waited 8yrs to get a dog since my sweet chaser was put down but i was leery about having pups...they are now potty trained, crate trained and know 2-3 commands already. we are working with the leash and riding in the car. they LOVE their bones.... and eachother

i thought i would surprise brian by painting our fireplace. after him not noticing i just blurted out "well? do you see it?" and he said "yes what is that huge black mark on the wall?"

 

i painted the bricks a an antique cream...love them..the black mark goes straight up the wall above the pumpkins...i was burning a candle that must have burned black. i just thought it was a shadow... so now i have to paint the purple again...!

we've been hanging pictures, decor, raking leaves, putting in bathroom fan, light fixtures, and emptying boxes. i guess company coming does help; even if they spend their twenty minutes and go. november was our month to get stuff done before the holidays hit us. we are actually having thanksgiving at our house this year with brians birth mothers side of the family. looking forward to having everyone in our home.....not looking forward to a tiny kitchen but we'll see how it goes!

marriage....

    60 years of marriage today

                happy anniversary gram and gramps...we love you

a melancholy day.....

most mornings around here start with an argument. truly. probably 5 or 6 days of our week do. it's all around one person. gaven. he isn't a morning person; i get that, nor am i. the difficulty is more in the transition of a day. it is about getting up, showering, what towel to use, different underwear than what i laid out, how long it might take to pick a breakfast because the Lord knows he can't just eat what we are eating,what sink he brushes his teeth in,  putting shoes on, 20min from shoes to getting one more thing in his backpack, side tracked 18 times, and the whole time if i get involved he says "mooom"..... i know some of this is typical age related behavior but one would have to see the extent of it to understand.the yelling, locking himself in the bathroom, hitting things, stomping, refusals, which all amounts to lots of yelling by myself also. i never wanted to see the person i turn into either. it's exhausting. not to mention there are 5 of us and not just him. we have struggled with this for years but it is to a point it's hard to bare.

by the end of the day he can't get out of bed enough times to tell us one more great thing about his day or life which is followed by a hug each time. it's only natural to have a defense built up against someone whom you fight with on a daily basis. i never thought that would be my relationship with one of my children. the hugs are welcomed and reciprocated but rarely heart felt on my end. it hurts my soul more than i ever want to feel. it is freeing to admit it in writing. i yearn for the little boy i used to hold above all else. he was my everything. i yearn for that feeling again. there are days that i blame myself and my parenting but i have 2 other children who do not treat us this way, who have normal ups and downs of behaviors, fighting, and meltdowns. that is expected, we don't expect perfection in our home but respect and peace would be welcomed and shared.

i have used all my resources...books, counseling, and praying. it has been 6 years of an uphill battle with gaven. not motherhood. just gaven in particular. it's draining, painful and at times hopeless. he is my child and i will never give up on him but sometimes like today, i don't have the fight in me. there isn't any patience or kindness left. my morning is blown. not a creative spark left in my body so i will redundantly fold laundry because there are no emotions required. at times i start feeling half full by the afternoon and have something to give back.

i miss him;

 

as i scrolled through pics of the past i teared up several times. i did not notice the date until i wrote it down and oddly enough, the one i picked was 5years ago today.

in my way.....

this last week i felt such a desire to create....i arranged my little corner in the house, cut out a sewing project, thought of another, dreamed as i went thumbed through patterned paper....it was all so dreamy. totally my dream factor. and then;there was tending to sick kiddos, the other kids came home from school, dinner needed my attention, evening shows came on and the next morning brought daily duties. so is life... sigh.

i did snap a few pictures of my space although just a tad bit incomplete. there are two big 'pow' elements in the works. they sit here calling me. however....my in-laws are coming this weekend and i feel the need to not have one box to empty in any room...main goal. a few others are; paint bathroom and bricks, hang some pictures on these bare walls, maybe luci's room would benefit from having curtains? ..... but if i have any creative energy at the end of the day....i will give attention to the crafty goodness sitting in my chair.

bits and pieces of my little corner;

when i was at lisas a couple weeks ago i noticed how much i am have become 'out of the know' in the industry. while working at the scrapyard i had every new paper line, ink, chipboard, and magazine at my fingertips. i would love to have that in my present life but that season is gone and i am so grateful for it. (thanks suz) i don't think my grandchild will ever say "grandma...why didn't you use the new glitter thickers with that paper combo on my moms page?" so i humbly use some of old stash that those two baskets are filled with. every little new thing i get sparingly is appreciated these days. plus when i go through my things i get inspired to make combos out of things i would have never before.

 

the last pic is my favorite...it is my sketch box. some are my sketches but most are out of books and off the internet. copying is not my style but taking something from a basic sketch is such a core for me. then i make it my own....like;

 

i took a basic line down the middle of the page with a few  pics or  paper and made it my own...it's luci laid out on her bed for the first time in her first girls room she didn't have to share with brothers. by scrapping it i hope i capture her feelings at the time and help her keep those memories alive. so very grateful to have this calling and talent to share with my family...now and for many years to come.

 

happiness....

completed pages....something i hope to have more of soon...i now have a clean table to create...one more thing (there will always be one more thing) and my little area is at the moment complete! hoping to do that today and share...