Balancing Bliss

we can officially;

 open the doors without making an appt with the realtor!

we spent the whole entire evening there....we left after dark.....it wasn't real when at first because we met the realtor there but....when we left to get dinner and came back just us....it was real!

it was our first meal in the dining room...on the floor...but i am sure it will be a memory for all of us. neighbors galore came out to greet us...there are several grandchildren of the neighbors that are my kids age to play with...they ran around the yard till dark....giggling and screaming...thank goodness the older man next door is almost deaf...he told me it wouldn't bother him at all....sweet...there is something about an empty house that makes kids go crazy and oh boy did they....hope to get some furniture in there so i can lay down the law...smile.

off to painting i go......

still here....

so much going on for our family these days....trying to make sense of it....not all of it.... just tiny bits of it would be welcomed...

too much happening at once

i had a friend (a darling friend that i love and miss) ask me how i keep balance in my life.....she complimented me on achieving such balance....truth is...right now...i have the word tattooed on my hand and have my blog named after it but i am ANYTHING BUT achieving it in my own life

the only thing that brings me happiness is either being gone from this house....i should tattoo the word 'escapism' on my other hand...or dreaming an hour away through paint colors, describing to luci what it will be like to have her very own lil' girly room, or telling the boys about what we are going to do with our new dog after we are all settled in the new house.....anything in between is being totally avoided at all costs.....and the cost is high....i don't do well in chaos....our home right now is a blend of everyday mess and moving mess....end of summer and getting ready for school....keeping this and throwing away that.. want to-do's and still have to-do's....

i try not to use this blog as a place to vent but i also want to keep it real...and this IS really happening in our world these days...not a lot of bliss....caving to all the chaos....and no where to start to find balance...

today we sign papers on the house....we get the keys on wednesday...and things will be rolling whether i am balanced or not ....

i am forever grateful to be a new home owner....just wasn't expecting all of these ups and downs with it....

looking forward to a much delightful post next time i blog....good chance that will be in a week or two since who knows when we will have the computer and internet set up ....

celebrating 10yrs of this boy....

much....

a lot of little things to blog about....too MUCH going on to do so....

the great escape.....

 last week i found myself in tears 3 days in a row....just so overwhelmed...here are a few reasons why;

* the mere thought of packing

* the kids playing slug-bug in the car which has now also turned into PT cruiser bruiser and since luci found herself at a loss at both....she now plays 'truck' which yes means her saying 'truck!' in her high pitched little girl voice at EVERY truck....

* having to make a trip or two to the mortgage broker and sitting in a tiny office with 3 kids that are more tired of the paperwork process than we are

*  dentist appt.s  with realities i didn't want to face and the dentist bill i never want to have again

* closing date on the house moving another week back

* getting kids into school....two different schools...a new school that i know nothing about...school supplies and new shoes

* dr. bills making an appearance from the vertigo days

* fitting in the last days of summer

* the mere thought of packing

* the everyday mess of a family of 5 and the thought of packing

* and to top it all off....meg who is my daily release....is on a 2wk road trip with her fam....

SO......I PUT ASIDE ALL THE WORRIES FRIDAY NIGHT AND DIDN'T FACE THEM AGAIN UNTIL THIS MONDAY MORNING.........

* i spent the evening with my aunt doni...she vented...i vented...we walked...we ate chocolate.. she let me go shopping in her abundance of hippie chic clothes....flowy skirts, peasant shirts, and crocheted purses....

* followed by a long drive through the country at midnight all by myself with my tunes....oh how i wish we could afford a place in the country...the drive home everyday would be such a release

* my husband laying next to me saturday morning....rare...he's a morning person....I'M NOT

* an unplanned date...antiquing and lunch

* my phone died...and our contract was up so i got a new phone....very fun to play with...and quite a distraction i must say

* pizza and diet coke saturday night....followed by alot of chocolate ice-cream

* and to end the weekend......a great day at church....afterwards i texted brian and said "get home.. i want to go to portland" and so we did....zoo and a trip to see jen....

NOW

* monday slaps me in the face with boxes waiting to be packed, a grocery trip to be made with 3 kids in tow, an ignored messy home, and stuff

but all will be well because i escaped for a couple of days when i needed to

old friends....

 you know you have a special friendship when you haven't seen eachother in 2yrs but you lean in and tell her how good her hair smells within moments of seeing her. although it was only picking berries and a walk in your garden for a couple hours...i needed it so badly....thanks heather....

i see these mornings of waking up @ 8:30am and playing on-line till 10am coming to an end very very soon...

today may be the last actually... the realization of packing is lurking around our home. as much as i wanted to buy our own home....i forgot how much this has become our home....we have been here 6yrs...boo-boos happened here, were kissed here, sippy cups poured full of chocolate milk, preschool and kindergarten first happened here, a baby was brought home here, anniversaries and birthdays happened here, meals were cooked here...not always good ones but...., kids had the flu here, 6 christmas mornings happened here, what more could make a home? this home was our blessing while going to college....it will always remain a good memory for us..

speaking of memories.....

for family home evening (it's a mormon thing to remind families to spend time together...it works) this week i thought it would be fun to bring out all the family videos we have made. it was a huge hit.. more than i thought it would be....we watched them for 5hrs that night and the kids woke me up the next morning asking to watch more. so we did....and then when we came home from our daily outings, we watched them until i went to sewing class last night. guess who got woke up this morning with little people at the foot of the bed asking "mom...can we start some more memory movies?"

 

we bought the camera 02-02....right before eli blu was born... probably the best purchase we have ever made...i am a camera overload momma but hearing their voices awwwed me...nothing else like it....gaven was only 2. we have gone through so many trials with him since the age of 7 that i forgot how sweet his little voice was, how he would repeat exactly what we would say, how he was our 'lil buddy'.....man i love that kid. he could see it through the videos too....and he realized how much he was and is loved. it was healing for all of us. we haven't had one disruption/eruption since. of course it has only been 48hrs...but hey i will take it! we also were faced with the realization how much we have aged...ya ya we are still in our 30's but wow.... 10yrs ago we were wrinkle free, had hair, and were 20lbs lighter...my my. at the time i didn't appreciate how good we looked so my thinking is that in 10 more years we will appreciate what we looked like right now...i'm going with that and making the most of it! think i might hop in a pic or video or 2......it was also interesting to see my body warp through pregnancies. 3 kids in 4 years. had to wonder why i am going to do that to my body again.....then i watched sweet moments of my babies and none of that mattered....

reaping a bit of our tiny tiny tiny harvest this year....

our tomatoes are showing their faces finally, the broccoli was a bust....it grew but we didn't harvest in time, we did get 3 ginormous zuch's out of the garden, our peppers are surprising us, turns out the corn is actually indian corn but that will be pretty come fall, and we have 6 tomato plants to give back to us for weeks to come. looking forward to using what this has taught us...and having the garden at our new home instead of across town at my dads. (jen...i did go over and weed the entire thing early in the week)....

well i promised myself to get off here at 9am....i'm off to make a spreadsheet for packing....yes i am crazy like that.

slightly overwhelmed.....

when i wanted this house and prayed for it....i also told the Lord that i would not whine, bitch, and complain once we got it....so i am not whining....

we had the inspection this week....i thought it would go better than it did....i guess a couple of things that came up are important but do not stop the sale of the home...the other things are little things and it just feels like they are tearing the house apart....luckily i did NOT take offense because the inspector was a dear friend who i heart.....

it was just a bit overwhelming...i was on a picking out paint colors high and the next thing you know i am on the floor low after the inspection...these feelings are just way to bi-polar for me....the ups...the downs... they are a tad bit hard to balance out....my friends all told me how this ride was going to be... they were right...anyone who has gone through it knows it already....

so i am not complaining....just expressing my mood....

i made a journal for the house...these first days...the process...the dreams for it...i tabbed each room... drafted it....wrote down the colors i chose...my vision for 'the look' i want to achieve for it...i know i know i am such an organized control freak...it's just who i am...

so i spend my late nights with my journal by the light of my bedside lamp, in silence after brian and the kids are asleep going through the 100 magazines jenny brought down to me for inspiration and ideas.....i would rather swirl my brain with creative bliss than try to wrap my head around gas lines and siding any day!.....i'm leaving that to the boys....afterall are they putting the load of the choice between antique green and hep green for the family room?

the view of our family room, dining room and kitchen from our deck...they just added all new carpet and vinyl throughout the entire house...and although it's not what i would have picked...it's new...neutral...and ours...we call the family room our creative space...if i called it a craft room it would be selfish of me but if i call it creative space it sounds like i am sharing it....we are adding a built in so the crafts will all have a home and be hidden.. sweet tax time can't come fast enough...

our bedroom is a typical small ranch bedroom but who knew i would get my own vanity and a walk in closet? that was a treat...

our kitchen is small but 1) it has a large pantry and 2) it has all new appliances including a gas stove and 3) i don't really like to cook anyways...as long as i can do the basics...i'm golden...i'm more about a creative space and a big back yard...this house has both...and don't you love the 70's yellow countertops? they will go so good with my orange paint on the walls....and a added bonus...i found a orange glass light fixture in one of the cupboards!

and the yard is to die for...it's on .27 acres....it's not perfect...that is the best part...i get to make it mine....it has a great layout to start me out with....so many plans and dreams for almost every corner.....it will take time and i look forward to the process and transformation....

why yes that is an entire privacy fence of jasmine...can you ask for more? i heart it...

those are my littles back there behind the trees...there are 5 raised beds that await berries, herbs and veggies for next summer...i heart the island in the middle of the yard to make a mystical fairy garden out of...we will be dropping a tree or two...before you get all upset....i have 8 yes 8 pine trees on the property....can one only imagine the amount of needles and pine cones? my dreams include a bird bath out of one of the stumps, a tree swing in the existing trees, with a path of stones going to it of course ....and lush plants by the dozens...

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............just washed all the inspection yuckies away...thanks for dreaming the dream with me...

it's a colorful world.....

yesterday my sister jenny came down from portland to see our new house and she brought me some gifts;

and i am starting to narrow it down...

thanks jen....i had a great time...it's so fun to share the excitement with someone who gets just as geeked out on  paint colors and fabric and swirling creative decorative ideas as i do.........thanks for helping me color my world....

breakfast and a show.....

as much as i AM looking forward for school to start and get back in a routine....it really hit me today that the reality of lazy sleeping in morning will be no more very soon. AND  just as much as i AM looking forward to another baby this coming year.....the reality of sleepless nights PLUS routine schools mornings might just kill me!

today i was woke up by the kids with breakfast in bed. now don't get the idea that it was sunday brunch-ish....it's more like combos of toast with peanut butter and key lime pie yogurt...with half a gallon of milk in the largest cup they could find....doesn't that make you pucker and stick your tongue out all at the same time?? mmmmmmm. still sweetest gesture and it's like a payday for a stay at home momma.

then they took it a step further....they did the penguin dance from mary poppins, coo-coo-caracha, and the grand finale of a magic show. gaven made a stuffed animal disappear under a blanket, so i then requested he make frenzy (our spookish and unusually large kitty) disappear and sure enough...he put a blanket over her...she bailed...and wal-ah...disappeared!

i am really enjoying their sweetness and lazy mornings. hmmmm wonder if i could teach the eldest to make my coffee?? hehe