Balancing Bliss

what a summer day it was....

yesterday i was feeling better than i have in a month....literally

we played in the hose, washed the van, blew bubbles, rode bikes, ate homemade ice-cream, ate on the deck, picked cherries, played till the sun went down, had sleep overs (why gaven is not in the pics....he is almost 10yrs old and would rather be with the neighbor when ever possible), nursed sunburns, read stories and drifted off to dreamland.......

i can't begin to tell you how good it felt to enjoy my kids on a summer day.........

i created a new photo album to the right_________>........all in a summers day................

all in a summers day.......

lots more of these to come.........

can't get more summer like than.........

we are headed out the door to a family reunion with homemade strawberry ice-cream and our family's baked beans.......

determined to have a summer;

 i have whined enough on this blog....i try to keep this a place to record our growth, memories, and happenings......just had no idea that vertigo was going to take over so long.....so no more on that.....

 summer is happening here....in SLOW oregon fashion....but it is here....june is usually mild with rain here and there.....this june shall be no different....there is enough sunshine for my garden to grow....so no complaints by me....anything 80* or over is toooo much for me anyways....loving this gradual entry to warmer weather.....

our days start slower than june! they let me sleep in every morning....really liking this 'getting older' kid thing....we eat;

they watch cartoons and play video games....those go off for the day at 10am....each of us slowly takes our turn showering....by that time it's lunch....i sit in my chair on the porch reading a new library book while they get out trikes, bikes, scooters and such......the boys play endless wall-ball until we lose the ball over the neighbors fence or they get in a fight loud enough for me to send them in...i did get them water guns and an ample amount of bubbles....

 we have also been doing ALOT of this;

anyone who knows me...knows that i am NOT a game person...i feel ill when i hear 'you and brian should come over for game night' from friends...brian laughs then immediately lets them know i will not be going...this has been the case since i was a small child...monopoly however i could play for days...one summer we set up a game in a camp trailer....it went on and on...we left the game always going and my siblings and i would return to it...oh back in the day when the figures were dogs, cars, and a rollerskate...now they are computer screens and a cell phone...sigh... gaven is borderline obsessed with monopoly these days, eli blu has a 20min attention span for it (he gets that from his momma), and luci girl is amazingly kicking all of our butts.........fearless....she buys everything she lands on...and the rest is luck....

so we may not be camping, at the river, in the berry fields, taking swim lessons, or having any outings at all for that matter......but it's only june....those things are all on their way.....june's slow start is quite a blessing.......we'll take it

 

taking it easy.........

 

at this point i am just so very grateful that i do not work outside of my home.....i can't imagine trying to  accomplish more than what HAS to be done....

friday i swore it was a new day.....i called my dad and told him that i needed someone to drive me to target and safeway....we got ready.....i wore cute clothes...i dried my hair....these things just haven't been done around here lately....we walked through the doors and i handed my children to my dad and told them to go get lunch and i got an icee, a popcorn, and a cart.....aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh sweet target...how i missed thee......for 3 weeks i have been in my home, venturing out to the porch from time to time...  being out in the world again felt amazing....by the time i got all the 'stuff' needed, my dad returned and drove us home.....

i felt so good that i made cupcakes and a homemade lasagna.....I WAS CURED......

momma even picked up these for her boys who got REALLY good grades this year;

saturday comes around...i wake up, grab my keys, and head out the door to meg's for coffee.....while i have been restricted from getting out....she has had a husband out of town for weeks on end....so we can either get together for coffee with 5 kids....or do it over the phone...we opt for #2 usually..... i hadn't been behind the wheel in weeks...it felt all new again....after that i drove home....life was 'normal' again.....we all loaded up to go;

it was then that i realized i wasn't cured......i had to crawl on my hands and knees because bending over was NOT an option....the berries were SOOO good....eli and i are the only ones who felt it ok to eat as many as our hearts wanted while in the field...that's part of it yes?.....gaven found more bugs than berries...luci followed his lead;

by the time we got home, i knew i was sick....so here i sit again...waiting for a 'good hour' or two to craft something or add some goodness to my home....something..anything...to lift my spirits...

...sunday was a total bust for me....i bought a few random things on 'my outing' friday...no wrapping... no fussing...just asked the kids to hide them in their room...sunday morning i asked them to go find their gifts....they gave them to daddy....i hopped myself up on sudafed and travel sickness pills so brian wouldn't have to take the kids to church by himself on fathers day...i was dressed..i was there.. i was SO ill.......i was moving in slow-mo while everyone else seemed to be super-speed....and then brian took me home....i then broke into tears the rest of the day because i thought i was going to start feeling better... i really really thought i kicked this thing...

woke up today with a kink in my neck....that is what i get for complaining of how heavy my head felt yesterday and that it felt like it might just roll off.....now i am quite aware that my neck is there... so i just laid in bed...then those sweet kids of mine brought me my cell phone and a ENTIRE plate of bagels with cream cheese...if they only knew how to make coffee...wink....

they really made my morning....other wise i would just be a pitiful spinning momma.....

mondays highlights will be getting the laundry from upstairs to garage and a possible water gun war.. i'm okay with that....slow start to summer....not so bad.

(did anyone notice the boy stripping of his wet clothes on the front porch in the jar of flowers photo? i didn't until after the fact ;)

* on a good note; i did get my camera out and take some pics....i missed that more than target....

thanks friends....

i really appreciate the wishes....what i really appreciate are people telling me their stories of vertigo so i don't feel like a crazy person....it just seems to have taken over my life a tad bit....there are times that i  decided to go on with life vertigo or no vertigo....well vertigo won yesterday right about the time i was checking out at winco with $160 of groceries.... thanks for bagging my stuff trish...you saved my butt... so i lay down when the room spins too much and i get up and do all i can, living life when i find the opportunity...

there are so many stories and how long this may or may not last.....hoping it will pass so i can give my kids the summer they are deserving of....

so looking forward to looking through my lens and filling my blog with eye candy and words of goodness to follow them up

just spinning around....

you don't know how much you are needed until you can't give........i pull it together every once in awhile when i have taken enough meds and can pretend i'm not ill.....i catch up on general clean up and piles of dishes as quickly as i can....the other day i made up my mind i would no longer be sick...mind over matter....i put away several loads of folded laundry......it took 30min and after i sat down i felt like i put in a 12hr shift......i've never been so bored in my life.....the t.v isn't my friend, it just moves around too much.....scrolling on the computer  is like a carnival ride.....that's ok...i'll take some quiet time...read a book....NOPE......i have to keep the curtains closed because our busy street has too much traffic going back and forth...back and forth.....so i sit in the dark.....so very not me

yesterday was a good day....i sat on the front porch and brought out my embroidery....concentrating on something very still seemed to help actually...threading the needle over and over....not so much fun... i am determined to take back a little bit of my life....today meg and i are going grocery shopping...very nice of her to offer since i can't drive...(i have taken a small trip or two but only during a really 'good time') looking forward to having good food in the house again...i don't really want to eat much these days...i mainly stick to toast and green grapes...the rest of the family would probably appreciate some dinners...brian cooking them of course..it should feel good to get out and do something for my fam....i think that is my hardest part...not being able to take care of everyone....

so there is my whiny update....thats all i got....oh how i will appreciate feeling 'normal' again

schools out for.........

               summer!!

if i would have been feeling better i would have had them throw their school papers in the air....you know...for the whole alice cooper effect....

i made these for all the special people who go beyond human capabilities to work with 100's of kids each day....

i like quite a few people at our school....they are angles....especially this one;

oh how our family adores her...gav couldn't even go say good bye to her because he said he cried already yesterday doing so. she has been there with us since 1st grade...through the really tough stuff with gav in 3rd grade....and has put an ease on a mommas heart......happy to call her a friend..each cup had dutch brothers cash in it for a drink but hers had a little something something....

as far as sick momma here.........i was in urgent care again....i was feeling kind of good and was thinking i might not go but that faded fast....i couldn't even drive myself home...sinus infection is gone...i paid for the x-ray that says so....they are now saying it's all inner-ear....i have a good case of vertigo going....(no s^*t).....gave me more meds....and so i sit here...spinning...exhausted...in tears.. and wait till the next time i get a couple of hours of relief....

(just picture me threading a needle with vertigo....lovely)

last week of....

it's been a last week of many things....last week of a never ending sinus infection...good-bye to that!... last week to 4th grade...entirely freaks me out that i have a 5th grader...how did that happen? i still have friends from 5th grade...last week of 1st grade...sniff...weep...pulling myself together....last girls pj day without people of the male variety to put a twist on it....

the boys both met their goals so they were invited to attend the school swim party...it's the first year it didn't rain...good ol' oregon....

pure joy on their faces....luci and i got to go in and take some pics...looking forward to going some more this summer...it was the very last weekend it was open last summer when i realized that i NO longer needed to wear a swimsuit to go...(meaning..i never took them for fear of the swimsuit) ..the kids were all old enough to go in the pool by themselves.. that would have been such a relief last year...i'm possibly getting a season pass this year and we will make the most of it!

loved this one of eli blu waving to luci girl....

feeling up to doing a little more this week....still get quite exhausted by late afternoon...think i've just been over doing it because i finally can...didn't realize how much i lost of myself over the last couple of months....i really was quite sick...looking forward to doing more...

today i am making teacher gifts....you know they get out at noon tomorrow...nothing like procrastination... will post those later today

blush....

i have been sick , well it seems like since spring started but i would come out of it just in time for one of the kids to come home with something and then I would get the blunt of it again and again. there has been something going on with my ears...i have felt like i am laying in the bottom of a bathtub....lately though, i have just been dizzy...couple good weeks worth of dizzy...off balance...just thought we were having another baby....NOPE...that wasn't it...in the last couple days i have been so dizzy that the TV makes me feel like the whole room is moving....and if i am on the computer (always) i have to close my eyes to scroll down because i wouldn't be able to stop spinning.

come to find out...i am a sick sick momma.....i have had a sinus infection since march? it seems to go away but never did...i have soo much fluid in my face it's like a mask....i should start hearing right again soon...and i might just be able to watch tv in time for the playoffs on sunday...(that is how sick i was! i wanted nothing to do with basketball this week!)

onto the blushing....so there i was 9pm in the store waiting for prescriptions.... i'm afraid i might fall on my face if i walk around too much so i make it to the chocolate (i haven't eaten) and go sit on the bench.... it's not the pharmacist i usually have...he gives me the strong stuff and then tells me that it will compromise my birth control pills (we are waiting on baby till house stuff clears) so 'don't have too much fun'.... then gives me some other stuff that is no longer sold over the counter and he said it might make me a little 'loopy'..... he reminds me when i'm loopy to 'not have too much fun'.... then i hand him the chocolate.... i told him it was for my pain and suffering....and then i remember that my dentist had called something in for me because i was supposed to have some major work done this week but canceled on the fact that i couldn't breathe BUT hey...i could still pick it up while i'm here....he grabs it and smiles... "hey why not...kinda like your friday night beer"..IT'S THEN THAT I REALIZE I AM BLUSHING...i look over both shoulders because i wonder who sees me picking up all these meds....i told him i didn't want a bag but it was pouring over....i pulled out my re-usable bag, stuffed everything inside, thanked him and made my way to the door.....

crashed so hard last night....brian took the kids fishing this morning....i'm not supposed to be on here (oops) or watch tv....don't feel well enough to be too crafty....guess i could just take some meds and take another nap? can't believe i used to pay $ to feel like this!  blush