Balancing Bliss

happy to see this.....

not as happy as i thought i might get though. we actually enjoyed ourselves this spring break and it wasn't really stressful at all. we slept in, made cookies (alot), rode bikes to the park when it was sunny, played endless video games, and just had a lax time. one week i can handle.......summer i am dreading. then again i forget my husband will be living here not like the past two summers.....we may just get back to enjoying those again too.

our trip to the zoo was canceled by the immense amount of rain we had saturday, so instead we met up with brians friends from way way way back in the day. we are talking like 15yrs ago....early home depot days. shannon has 6yr old twin girls and sue has a 5yr old girl. good times. shannon had the most amazing HUGE playroom which made all the difference for adults to be somewhere else with adult conversation.

luci was in little girl heaven;

and eli blu was loved by 4 little girls;

maybe a tad bit much;

and he loved every minute of it. i say his fault for showing them how to kick butt with a sword.

our best time was at the park on friday. i was done with video games and rain so we headed out.

 i packed a picnic;

picked flowers for our flower press;

luci couldn't get enough of the flowers so i of course hit the wet ground with her camera in hand;

the funny part was, she didn't want us to step on one of them. as you see...kind of hard not to.

when my eli blu was only a couple of months old we trekked out to this same park. we were both wearing tye-dyed shirts and i was wearing pigtails. there is a pic of us at the frog pond. it was totally unplanned but i had my hair in pigtails this day too so i asked gaven to take a pic or two of us;

unfortunately i forgot to show him how to zoom in.

then we were off to frogging which is the reason for the whole trip;

after our successful frog adventure, we took a walk through the forest. i love this part because i get to share my knowledge of plants. since i went to school for herbalism i know many more of the plants which people refer to as weeds than i do your common garden variety. what made it even more fun is that last minute i grabbed our guitars and drum.

after a few minutes we found our way back to the same picnic spot where we laid down our blanket and played our hearts out. not one of us knows how to play but that is what makes it so free, no expectations, just wailing on the instruments without a care in the world.

since i was so in the moment i really didn't care about any insecurity i have about being in photos and again jumped in a pic or two....

eli blu got this guitar when he turned 4;

 (my lil lefty)

i got gaven a drum for his 1st birthday at hemp fest and have some fond memories through the years with it;

we walked out of the forest to find a bunch of hicks fishing. i guess they heard our music. they looked at us like we were fruitcakes and i wouldn't have it any other way!

we returned home dirty, played out and exhausted;

such a good day....feels so good to tune into who i am....

sneak peek of an exceptional day.......

hijacked.......

 my computer and the laptop have been hijacked by the spring breakers playing spore. that is my sad excuse for not blogging. i don't know what has happened to me recently but blogging has taken a back seat. guess i will do a catch up;

the little girl playing in the tent? she convinced her daddy (while momma was at sewing class) that she was told she could sleep in it that night. no mother would let a child do this;

for obvious reasons. but look how cute she was;

eli blu has been his hilarious self;

he is also quite happy to be home this week on spring break. i have called off most of our plans to just relax.....i need it and so do they;

notice the only thing that moves is his tongue.

gaven has been spending his time playing spore, reading chapter books, and playing with the neighbor. surprisingly enough.....he has yet to be grounded and is quite enjoyable which makes one happy and relaxed momma.

i'm such a contradiction!

tomorrow is my first day back to the ol' WW in 3wks. i skipped one week and meg couldn't go the next so i opted out. i have gained back 3lbs. i'm kinda at a crossroads. surrender to the chubby chick or check back in. to be honest it feels pointless.....we have decided this is the year to have another baby so i'm going to be putting on an easy 30+lbs soon. doesn't help that when i got my IUD out it stirred up hormones i haven't had in 5+yrs and i ate everything in sight, hence where the 3lbs came from. on the other hand, i saw a pic of me with my scrappin' friends and i just don't feel as heavy as i looked. some of my fav pants that didn't haven't fit me in 2yrs are now my fav's again. who would want to give that up? plus if i keep off the weight, my now 'fat jeans' will be great for after baby. so this is the fight in my own head. would love some uplifting guidance from my girlies who have already been there, whether they surrendered or trucked through it.

i have had a shadow box with an inspirational something in it next to my bed for over a year. it talked about enjoying the last year here before we left this area forever. well as we all know...there was no leaving. i hated waking up to that, so on my scrappin' get away i made something new for my box. it came out of my journal and reads something like; today i will.......go on a walk,pray, kava, have pj days and diet coke mornings (before i went back to the ol' cup of love), i will let them have their nintendos back, play, and read.today,i will do what it takes to be love myself, open up my spiritual self and nurture my family. it basically gave me the 'out' to not be perfect, which was something i used to try to be. it's enlightening to wake up to.

there has been many of hours playing in our scrap room this past week. 30min here and there. another handful of pages made, memories kept forever. luci comes in to join me. she actually has been choosing to be in there all by herself these days. we will call upstairs and she will say 'i'm scrapping'. i'm afraid i am going to have to give into paint and glitter one day this week, as she has begged for it days on end recently.

simple layouts but memories recorded.... cathy z (most awesome to the highest of simple scrapbooking) has said "don't reinvent the wheel" so i have been cranking out l.o's like the last two by just turning the page. 2photos, title, and journaling, done. did one of luci yesterday that is total cuteness and one of my fav's in forever. i do like the 'my wish' one ....i sewed a pocket for journaling which was dear to my heart and have since added little stars trickling up the page.

so bring on spring break.......nintendos, movies, chocolate milk, sugared cereal, and all of the other things i wouldn't normally allow................i will be in my scrapbook room!

and to top it off....

eli blu just came in the room and asked " how many days until i get my drivers license?"

me- "you man years" eli blu- "no...days"

and gaven responded "3,285"

spring has sprung....

our first lil' flower on our tree. i'm an oregonian born and raised so i am aware that this little blossom radiant in the sunshine will soon be pummeled by rain and wind. it's hit or miss with sunshine these days so when it is here, we leave everything behind and get outdoors to enjoy it.

we leave behind everything!

literally hundreds of hopeful wishes of spring ahead..........until then we are enjoying ourselves crafting and pretending.

i finished logans gift;

i was impressed of how soft it was. there are 2 kinds of jingle bells inside, liking how it turned out.

luci has been spending hours in her room these days playing. i am not in any way complaining.first you need an invitation, then you put it in the slot to get it.....handmade invite by luci of course;

it must be a sleep over because she brought blankets and snacks;

there is of course 20 stuffed animals and babies inside waiting for the party to begin. i sure feel sorry for the momma who has to clean up that mess.....

the same momma whose 9yr old came in the door after school and asked to use her cell phone! i said "why? whats up do you have a girlies #?" kidding of course but it wasn't a joke, he did. it's from a girl in the classroom next to his, apparently they have the same recess but he doesn't play with her but she sent her # via bff. wow....i don't know if i'm ready for such things!

then he says "well that sucks....she's got cricket" meaning....she has prepaid minutes and has used them all.....typical of a preteen.

while blogging this.....he walked in the door with a friend.....like he's 16 or something! where is this kids mom? if gav just walked home with someone else...someone i had never met mind you....i would have the cops out looking for him! and this is what gav would think about it;

(and the kids cell phone just rang....i think he's in trouble....yes the kid has a cell phone....what's up with this freakin' world?!)

guess i will go drowned myself in these;

and then after i'm done regulating the pre-teen drama.......i'm off to a sewing class! where i hope to post a pic of something cute made out of;

got my craft on........

laura finally had that baby.....like 10 days after her due date. logan was born weighing almost 9lbs. she did it without any drugs.....i think she was crazy, only because i have done it. i could have never imagine little natural me getting an epidural but with eli blu they recommended it and i don't think i will ever turn one down again!

can't wait to meet little logan and bring him this;

i plan on sewing it together into a block today and filling it with cotton and little jingle bells of different sizes and sounds. it was so very comforting to have something in my hands to create this week...except for when the blazers were playing the lakers....i stabbed myself twice.

as nice as;

this is.......i have got to step away from the computer for a couple of days. that damn facebook is so very addicting. so i'm getting my craft on today....and packing up for a crop that i am looking fwd to... can't wait to see all you amazing ladies!

7yrs ago..........

i was sitting at home with a brand new baby boy in my arms. even though he turned out to be wild ass crazy.....he is also the most affectionate, caring, fun, empathetic, big hearted cuddly boy i know as of yet and to this day i still get to hold him in my arms.

eli blu being born in tax return season has always had the best birthday in our home. well out of the kids....his parents also have their bdays during big money time and there are two of us so we usually make it count! poor gaven his bday falls last week of august when the $ has all been spent on school clothes and all of his friends are out of town for their last family vacation before school starts so he can't even have a fun party. luci girl shares her bday with two other family members and it's 2 wks before christmas when the last thing people want to add to their list is another party. so it's good to be eli blu.

he was very excited about getting cards with $ this year. it was such a good idea for my grandparents to send $ for the age they are. he being 7 they sent a $5 and 8 .25's ......that was so much more exciting than the $50 he got from g and g walker which he thought was $5. after all........8 large coins is eye candy! not to mention it was popcorn the next day and he bought popcorn for all of us.....there he goes again with his big caring heart.

poppy came over with a surprise from all of us........

he just couldn't stand it.........

by the look on his face i think he likes it. he has grown so much that he is a year ahead of gaven getting a big bike. gaven was 8 when he got that same bike in blue. he did not know that you couldn't use the pedals to stop and immediately wrecked at the bottom of the driveway. so dad was giving him a lesson on stopping.

now to the good stuff........

we looked everywhere and finally found something he was really really wanting....

a tie! such a funny lil guy. he loves to wear ties. church clothes in general actually. we all walk in from church on sunday and barely make it to the bottom of the stairs before ripping off ties, skirts, and dress shoes. not eli blu.......he asks if he can please wear his. how cute is it that it zips? he tried to wear it to school wednesday over a t-shirt which was turned down with a quick ' i don't think so '.

party time is over........and momma is .........

burned out that is.

i don't know why.......it only started @ 7am with cutting up 60 jello jigglers, muffin complete with candle, 3 kids to school, volunteer at preschool and get 20 kids ready for a field trip, groceries for a bday boys favorite dinner, bake cupcakes, library books due, surprises, pictures taken, and candles blown out! phew........bedtime........

all in all........eli blu's favorite things were not a $50 (that i know he will enjoy spending soon) or the new shiny red bike,  he just keeps talking about his 8 quarters and that while at the library the librarian blew a whistle and had the whole library sing happy birthday to him. it just goes back to the "give a kid a box" theory now doesn't it?

blissful weekend......

no pics to prove it but we had such a blissful weekend..

crafty pj friday was kinda cancelled due to the fact that gaven was home...just not the same when there is a boy in our presence. brian rented movies for us and we just chilled as a family.

saturday i watched the romantic drama chic flick he got for me...i think he was hoping i would do that friday night when he and the kids were asleep. it got me bawling and all emotional in front of everyone, i won't say which movie because it will ruin it for everyone who hasn't seen it. luci then showed signs of being sick because she totally opted out of going to a princess b-day party for one of her best friends. this was a total bummer because we had plans to go on a date....the babysitter was cool with it though so we went.

 

borders is our favorite date. if there is a line at outback then we get our lil beeper disk and take it next door to borders. sometimes you need to be refreshed in what you love and more importantly what you loved when you were just you before you were a couple. we split our different ways and meet up with books and music that reminds the other person of who that person was when we met.....such as brian picked out a book on kurt cobain. that does nothing for me but i love to see what it does for him. he lost me for quite sometime because i found a little stool to pull up to the craft section. BLISS. we walked out with a beading book, quotes by women, willie nelson cd, terry brooks and a movie ...time bandits....it was a movie brian used to  watch with his brothers. (thank you gram and gramps for the gift card...it was a great date). i could have walked out of there with so much more but had to put back some books and a johnny cash cd. choices are so hard there.

 upon arriving home we realized our luci girl was sick. she had a fever and looks like a heroin addict around the eyes. so we had to miss church the next day....darn. since becoming the librarian i haven't really skipped out. it was even more of a treat that brian did to which is almost a never. the boys watched brians new movie and luci and i played in our beads. every page is her favorite and she wants to make every project. once again...choices...sigh. then i took a long nap and after i woke up i took a hot bath, read quotes by wise women and watched it snow. does it get more blissful than that? best sunday i have had in forever.

now monday morning laundry, dishes, menus, shopping lists and homework await me. lucky me i get to do it all to willie nelson, one of the greatest old hippies that ever lived.

they live in such a bubble gum world....

my kids have no idea how good they have it...we may not have a ton of money but they don't want for much, i bake cookies or brownies a couple times a week, we rock out to the best of tunes, they cuddle up in warm plush beds to be read to every night, they ride bikes with tassels (ok luci not the boys) and fly kites.

literally......we rode a bike to the boys school this afternoon and flew a kite across the field on the way home. as i saw luci and eli blu running across the field screeching with laughter with clouds puffed up in the sparkley blue sky.........i thought exactly that......'what a bubble gum world they live in'.

then i thought to myself.....'wait i live in this world too' but i was quickly reminded that i have other knowledge of the world we live in that their innocence protects them of. about that time luci handed off the kite to me and yelled 'run mom run' and while i was running for that moment i forgot about the stock market, the bathroom that needs cleaning, what i'm making for dinner, etc.......so join the bubble gum world and go fly a kite........highly recommended.

okay so i have had a few friends ask me what i am talking about when i say F-stops....or aperature... neither of these things have i mastered or even understand fully but i can show you what i am talking about just by pure screw up today........

it's choosing what to be in or out of focus.....again i am NOT a guru...i just want to take some photography classes and when i speak of F-stops i have some friends say "what are you talking about?" and there you go......

by the way.........do you see how close we are to spring??

and to my german friend.........this has been in my fridge since you went back to germany.....it's old, cheap and probably really crappy ale but it has sat in my fridge for 4yrs in hopes that you would come back. so excited that you are and i'm not expecting you to drink it by any means!

 

totally random........

i have been such a bad blogger. what happened to my everyday post? there just doesn't seem anything solid to write an entire post about so i will just add some random sade happenings....

* luci is loving her earrings so much that she carries a little mirror with her to safeway to look at herself. i have no idea what kind of drama queen i have created! highlights and earrings at 5....my my one might think i should be on toddlers and tiaras....i promise there will be no spray tanning! i swear!

* once again i have found myself deep into 100 projects...i have sewing, beading and photography books on the coffee table and projects ready to go....but promised luci girl that we would scrap on friday pj day.....and i did make 2 layouts that i am very happy with last week.

* i guess i have told gaven one too many times that "_____ is crap" such as" jonas brothers are crap, you are blessed with parents to show you the greats....so why must we go there?"  " we don't eat sugar cereal because they are crap" "what do you mean you forgot to turn that in after i helped you with it? thats crap" yada yada.........because.......he is now using this terminology and it just sounds so much worse coming out of a 9yr olds mouth!

* brian has been sick which is a never, he has been working hard and has meetings with india every tuesday and wednesday, he also finished a 1000 piece puzzle in his spare time....who does that?

* i wake up everyday looking at my phone for a text from laura to see if she had her baby who is now officially late.........come on logan....people are waiting to meet you!

* i am so very very much looking fwd to spring that i have been taking pics of my cherry tree's buds for 5 wks now.......just thinking they are going to be blooming any day now...starting to think i'm dreaming

* eli blu was doing his chore of watering the cats while i was in the bathroom and after he filled the dish he took a sip of it!?  me-"what are you doing?" e- " i check it everyday to make sure it's cold and fresh like you say" ..........eli? really? thats bad....even for eli...that means he has been drinking out of the cat dish for like a year...the middle child...sigh.....

* luci is advancing so much with her speech......she no longer has "pornflates" for breakfast, she doesn't go to 'stool' for nothing!  we are now moving onto the G sound.....she mastered CK sound when she said "i liKe CupCaKes"....

* i lost another pound+ this week at WW...i have just been losing .2, .8, .5....and so forth for weeks so i decided to track what i'm eating (which is really the whole program) and amazing enough...it worked! who knew?

* i dropped the ball on parenting ....eli had to wear his boots to school and it was p.e day, he forgot his library book, i sent a not organic enough snack, luci didn't brush her teeth and i rubbed them with my sweatshirt before walking her into class, gaven still got his $ even though he let the recycling pile up, unless they are bleeding i don't really want to get involved with disputes.........looking fwd to spring break but not ready for summer break!

* eli blu cried for 30min last night because everytime he got ahead in candyland i handed him the purple plum card and sent him back to the beginning........i had to totally had to start cheating for him i just can't encourage sportsmanship enough

* i would like to think of myself as politically correct or even more so liberal and open to things.... so why is it that my kids shot darts at the little children holding hands around the world picture in their room? luci made slanted eyes at her preschool friend from china (which did get a laugh in the class and also her asian friend).........i have no idea how it happened to me! seriously? their room was decorated with earth, animals, and people from around the WORLD.....and this is what i get?!

* so there you go...................random