Balancing Bliss

just in a funk....

 

my blog is somewhere to share and record my joys in life...sometimes my hardships too. right now i am just in a funk. i found some happy times in shopping for scrap stuff and in the crop i went to but you know... you can't shop everyday. who would want to really...it wouldn't be fun any longer not to mention totally wasteful.

 what i am saying is..........i just don't have anything to blog about these days. i will be out in life seeking any joy that comes my way or that i can grab onto ..........until then....just in a funk.

you know it could have something to do with UNPACKING a house that has been packed with the anticipation building after almost a decade of planning to move. ummmm ya maybe that is it.........i will get over it....in time. art may be my only escape...must go drowned myself in thread, paper, paint, beads and glue.

scrap shoppin....

even better...i did it with a friend. love you pam. you are the sweetest. here is a prime example that one must not have to belong to a church or religion......my friend pam is the true definition of a christian. anyone who knows her would say it too. actually we have many times said this behind your back pam. those are the kind of things i would want to be said behind my back. such a wonderful girl. looked forward to it and it was even better than i thought it would be. ok ok enough of the sappy lovie stuff and onto the paper and glue!

i have always loved this pic of luci, it looks like she knows something we don't. love that girl and i bet she does.

i've waited 6 months to find this and have the $ for it at the same time. got it. looking fwd to doing something, anything, out of it.


donna downey is like one of the most amazing artist of our time. it kills me, she never stops. she goes on and on about starbucks but there has to be something more. she doesn't make a day of it or a weekend.....she breathes craftiness.

pam and i went to running with scissors in independence. i had heard of this store here and there but WOW. seriously puts others to shame. SHAME. it is a gorgeous store first of all whether it be full of paper or appliances. the store is amazing. the owner has TASTE. it was INSPIRING. the crop area (so true suz) was LUSH. the classes look FUN. the products were .....i just wanted to play with it all. pam actually thought i said "i want to play with myself". hehehe

so here is some of the goodness;



and looking fwd to doing something with both of these little albums.......a butterfly of my 1970's baby pics and an acrylic 4x4 of.....i have an idea or two....

thanks again pam. it is just what i needed. oh and before i forget.......we also went to another scrapbook store in salem....i went into the bathroom shut the door, noticed that it seemed tight.. umm ya.....couldn't get out of the stall! not kidding. if i pushed the entire fixture (3 stalls) would wobble. i called pam but she had left her phone in the car. i was about to call suzanne for the # to the store to tell them to get me out, when pam walked in and asked if i was feeling ok. i was feeling fine except i was locked in a public bathroom! so she got help. the girl said "i'm a little thing...i will just go under the door"  first of all...pam is like all of a size 2? 2might be putting her on the heavy side. so who is a tiny thing. however...she went under, pushed the door and it opened. i AM NOT a little thing and i threw my weight against it and it didn't budge. so she's just "a little bitch of a thing" and i am officially scared of being alone in a public bathroom.

beyond that. seriously, it was a good day. fun. just what i needed. to play and enjoy with nothing to do with jobs, moving or not moving. just some paper, chipboard and flowers between friends.

because the day rocked like that....

 it was a good morning but the entire day went on to be full of goodness. the best part...i was in the moment...many of times i stopped and took it all in.

the sounds-giggles, rain, little voices, quiet of the world shut out
smell- rain, trees, apple pie, books, downy yummy pjs

brian, luci and i just had a really good afternoon together. before we went to get the boys from school we headed to the library to load up. i had quit going in the past weeks thinking we would be moving and i didn't want to add one more thing on my list to do before we left. it was calming just to enjoy her and for her to have both of us without distractions...the ones of the brotherly kind.

when we got home we decided to walk down to the school to get the boys. a couple of rain drops fell as we were leaving and luci wanted to go back in for her umbrella...i told her no....there is a reason...she was riding her bike...guess who ends up holding the pink princess umbrella? the same person who holds the cabbage patch!  i should have taken the damn umbrella.

kid you not, by the time we got to the end of the block we were hiding under a tree waiting for the boys. it was pelting us. HUGE drops! kids are running screaming away from the school and for a minute i thought...what damn good oregonians you all make...but then i was back to thinking of how i wanted to run screaming home. jk. brian tells gav and i to go ahead home with luci because eli blu doesn't seem to notice that it's pouring. we start running which is funny all on it's own....to see ME run, that is..then to turn and see luci riding her little bike (her brothers old mtn bike) leaning over the handle bars with a mean look as she passed us. freakin heeelarious. so here is the sade family running down the block, in the rain, laughing, and squealing.we were so soaked that we stripped right there and got in our pj's.

brian being home this week has been such a blessing....he helps eli blu with his homework that is


luci decided she needed to see if her tomatoes got watered enough. ummm ya luc they did.

i don't know what was cuter...her in her footed pjs and umbrella or the fact that she...  wore shoes over her pj's

we spent the rest of the afternoon in our home with the world shut out while we dug through our book bag of favorites.             

 
luci girl is really into audio books right now. she just listens for the beep and turns the page then starts the cd over again. her world is being absorbed by her everyday. i love it. i also love..


because i am trippy like that.....no really i love that my kids read. i love that i have given them an opportunity in life early to fall in love with books. to some reading to your children, a favorite book from your childhood or library time is just a given.......but to some like myself...it is a blessing because i did not go to a public library until i was in college. i remember having a couple of golden books (i have since combed through many many golden books in antique shops and bought the few that i had as a child) but other than that.........no favorites. when people talk about "the classics" goodnight moon and such....ummm ya i did not know them until i read them to gav. i once thought that i had found the coolest new craze...WHERES WALDO...hmmm guess it's been around for awhile. still damn good books....we bring one waldo home every visit.

never too old for that one

it was touching  when  eli blu brought home brians favorite childhood book this week from his school library. we know it was his favorite because gaven brought home dads favorite book when he was a first grader too. 

 
so i am curious friends...(i know a few of you read this)......what were your favorite books or series of books?

because i rock like that....

 really, how many kids get to (if they have their teeth brushed and a healthy breakfast in them) get to practice balancing on their boards while watching VH1 top 20? and yes we turn it off during all of the inappropriate commercials. eww.

 here are my boys...boarding to jason mraz.......one of our new favs. take notice that our little cupcake is grooving with her baby quincy.

we soon took off to school on scooters. i rode eli blu's razor home and let me tell you that is a serious work out! maybe it's truckin all the weight but i think i'm onto something.

enjoying my fam........

 so i said i would post some of our craftiness from the weekend;

luci started out by cutting lots of paper into cards but soon decided to put them together into a book. she made an elaborate story about a little girl named luci4 who wanted to cross the street by herself.hmm wonder who that could be? still very cute. i asked permission to write in the words she read to me.

 

she then made another one for daddy and i. she wants us to write/draw to eachother.

all i did for her was punch the holes to put it together. she picked out everything. if you notice the aqua piece of paper on the back was actually pink like the front. she has yet to get if you paint you do not need to paint the entire damn thing. silly girl. i never criticize though. trying not to kill the natural artist in her.

so i DID meet 2 of my goals on my layout; 1) more than one picture 2) no flowers except in photo

i know i know how very ali of me. truth is i had not been to her blog in forever but was very inspired by it before heading to my creative space. i like the final product and enjoyed the process. thanks trish for the paper, i told you i would use it! i also used a label from one of my prescriptions too. hey, it defines who i am at this time in my life.

this is the very freakin funny part.............i was cuddled up with my husband last night watching all the premier shows and it hit me! i blurted out "am i 31 or 32??" see we have the same birthday just 4yrs off from one another.....and i was just thinking of him being 36. he laughed at me, maybe even a little too much. see all of the cute little details of the little chipboard female above? the only little chipboard lady i had? the paint, the rub ons, the drying time. yep........do over.

 so onto the other part of brian and i cuddled up. no not that. we were married in dec. 2000, at the time he was working swingshift, in early 2002 just weeks after we had eli blu, he started graveyard, as years went on he worked graveyard and left so early in the morning to get to the university where he spent his entire day and sometimes evening, after that he moved to portland for his internship. the point is.........we have never had a schedule to just sit down and watch tv together.

 i was worried what it might be like living together. sharing a bed, morning schedule, etc. thank GOD he is home for dinner.......he is the cook in the fam you know. the kids know and they are happy. it is so far going well. of course it has only been 2 days but something about last night was sweet. i thought his tv watching would get in the way of my craftiness but really i wanted nothing more than to sit with him and laugh. (big bang theory, how i met your mother and worst week ever =funny stuff).

 

the fam excluding me.....has been on a webkinz kick. for those who do not know what webkinz are they are stuffed animals with a code to get online where you take care of your pet, earn money by playing games, shop for them, send other webkinz friends gift and letters. the kids have been begging me to get one. i dug my heels in with the remark "don't you remember the two REAL kittens i got you 2yrs ago at the animal shelter??! ummm ya i need to go scoop the litter box, i don't have time to play games"  well i finally did it. meet tunces.......after my sister jen's cat who is named after the SNL cat.

and this is brians dog 'crawler' and tunces enjoying being together for the first time in years. love you baby........looking forward to it.

not what i had imagined...

 i know i know........there must be a reason for it all. the truth is i'm feeling really bummed about not moving. the only perk for me is to be close to my friends. oh and that i really like gavens teacher, which is very important since he has a lot of issues in the class.

 it's been years in the making....like 5+ yrs. actually more. i wanted to move before i met brian but was unable to do so being a single mom and getting free rent at my dads. it's been something i have been looking fwd to and dreaming about. so i'm a little blind sighted that it isn't happening.

 we are even thinking of staying in this place for another year. it's a nice place. love the location and being so close to the school.

 it was only this summer when my dreams of owning a home were crushed. the reality is that it would take a couple of years. then i accepted being in the city instead of moving to washington. but staying here was never really thought of.

 it's not that here is a bad place. others love it. i however would love to leave my past here and move on. i faced it for years. i endured it and now i would love to leave it. looking over at the car next to you at a traffic light and seeing your sons biological father........ewwww. running into your ex fiance and him making a sarcastic comment about me driving a mini van.....loved it...besides...did he really expect me to still be driving my jeep with 3kids?! running into some girl i was mean to in highschool.......sucks but i was. really not liking an old lady at my church who pissed me off so bad that the spirit disappears when i see her. so looking fwd to joining another ward in another town and leaving all of that behind. looked fwd to reinventing myself in exactly who i want to be. i can do that right here and now but it's not the same as turning over a new leaf.

 guess i am just going to have to get used to it until brian gets the experience to get a job somewhere else one day. which could take a few years. which means putting off baby #4 which made me cry last night when i saw someone with a newborn on t.v last night.

 like i said there has to be a reason but right now it hurts to live my dream. have to throw it out to my blogging world since i feel the need to put on a smile for brian and his achievement. love him. he works hard for us and i don't want to be a whiny bitch back home having a fit. oops guess i just did.

after i have my pity party for a few days, i plan on enjoying all of the things this area has to offer that i thought i was saying goodbye to; scott the librarian, our favorite frog pond, the bike path, the many people that i DO love at church, dutch brothers almond joy cup of love, target with megan, the occasional crop with my girls, the ocean (can't imagine living without it actually), fresh christmas trees, our fav pumpkin patch with homemade doughnuts, fav swimming holes, my dad, my dad, my dad, my dad.

  besides i am an oregonian by and by.........i would miss the rain. 

scrap surfing.........

 today while surfing the net i came upon two peas. it's been forever since i have even looked on there. things have changed so much...i can't say it's for the better. just different than our day. in "our day" i mean the days of the scrap yard crew.

 it made me miss the store. to be in "the know". to be inspired by one another and customers. to get giddy over a new shipment. to make our stacks of basic grey when it arrived. i do not however miss being a "paper whore". i can look at stuff now and think 'thats cute' and not even have to own it.

 things that were still the same were; one pic layouts and lots of flowers.

 things that made me happy;

 basic grey: they always always have at least 2papers that one must grab and funky brads

 k.i: love it's simplicity, stripes, i'm not a graphic type girl but i love me some k.i stripes. remember when i had a dream/nightmare that we sold out of ki stripes so i bought like $40 worth the next day?
 we r memory keepers?makers? (see i am not in the know) they have a nonsense line that i could love

love that ledger papers are back. they have been back for a year or two i guess. it's not the fact that they "are in" but more so that they are available to us.

 for the love of american craft: letter stickers, pens and brads.


my style would definately be simple with some paint and cuteness added to it. cathy z turns me on. little too graphic for me and computer savvy too. i'm more of a journal by hand kind a girl. love to add chipboard or flowers but want to try to move away from the same ol same ol. really liking a messy look right now. my girl and i are going to our scrap room (aka closet) and create the day away trying not to use a single flower and more than one photo! wish us luck. wish me luck, luci skye has that child's artist heart still and cares not what "style" she is. she simply creates.

 her space                                                  my space


messy fun, tunes, chocolate, diet coke, adhesive for me, glue stick for her....lots and lots of glue sticks for her, scraps, smell of paper, old photos, new photos, remember yesterday and making memories with her today.

 miss my scrap yard girls!

 

we are officially...........

 no longer college students........brian got a job!!!!!!!!!!

so the funny thing.........after all this drama of applying in five different states.............he got a job..........wait for it.........in corvallis.  yes 10miles away. are you freakin kidding me??!  either way we are moving. i have been packed for 6wks and we ARE moving. this home has been a blessing during the college years but 2adults in the sm. bedroom and 3kids in the master plus 3cats and all the chaos to go along with each one of us...........we are movin on up. jk. but seriously...we are moving.

so proud of this man..................love you baby.

healthy goodness....

 

lately i have been in a funk with my acne (whats up with 30+ yrold acne anyways? i'm not the only one!) and my hair (dyed it one too many times the last couple of years). i'm not a super vain person but i'm not going to just give up on myself either. the other night it just hit me "you dumbass.....your education is in herbs and nutrition!" i've totally fallen away from that being so distracted with a full life and have become a little too 'mcdonalds and old navy' for what i have desired in life.

so off to the store i went the next morning with a list of healthy goodness.

these are all things that most of have in our kitchen. okay maybe not the large fennel root. honestly i have never bought one and this will be a whole new experience for me. i bought these just for me to keep for these remedies and not to be used on pancakes or any other dinner. after the kids went to bed i smashed up avocado, mixed with mayo and smeared it all over my head! i worked it in, wrapped my head in saran wrap and started on my facial which consisted of some ground oats, honey and buttermilk. good times. i thought taking a pic and quickly decided against it, then gaven who was supposed to be asleep crept down the stairs and i ran for my camera to capture the look on his face when he saw his momma. then i again decided against it because i didn't want to get my camera all gooey. anyhooo....it was a lovely evening and i felt great after.

so many more remedies to try. looking fwd to it all. i believe that when you dream and the more you dream, that those dreams are closer to a reality. one of my dreams for years has been to have a small room to dedicate to my love for herbs. i've come to the conclusion that it should be a bathroom because of the running water and cupboard space.  i have also come to the conclusion that dream, which WILL someday be my reality must wait until we have more than one bathroom and/or my kids are bigger. the dream is so vivid that i know what it looks like to have herbs drying on hemp strings along one wall.

 i also bought a few things to do this;


the point of this book is to puree veggies and add them to your childrens food without them knowing. it's a win wind situation. they recommend to keep giving your kids veggies on their plates also so they don't begin to think they don't need them. this book came out on the market last spring? i've made quite a few things out of it and like them. we even just add puree to some of our everyday recipes. i blogged about the brownies once...i think it read something like "you know you are a mom when the 'green stuff' you add to your brownies is broccoli!"

the process of getting the veggies cut up and put into steamers was quite easy and fast.


the trick is to have everything going one at a time with just enough time to get it in the processor and OUT of the processor before the next veggie is done steaming.


i also baked a HUGE butternut squash, pureed it and yielded like 6 1cup bags out of it. it went rather quickly, less than 2hrs with clean up. that was fun.


took one look at this and text my husband to bring home chinese for his wife with the sinus infection. after all it's about balance right??

these were recommended to me by a fellow blogger.

a little treat to add to my happiness after a long day. thanks...

just a day........

in the life of my littles and me.

we got the boys off to school. luci and i spent part of the morning around the table making plans for our day while nibbling on this...

i made my first apple pie on sunday. don't call me molly (a mormon term for like the suzie homemaker type) just quite yet. next time i will make my own crust because the frozen one tasted like well......my freezer. the pie it's self was quite yummy and lucky me i have a huge head cold and can't taste anything today. only the granny smiths.

we made that sleeping bag for quincy (luci's baby) finally. then shanna, who just happens to freakin rock, brought over a sling i ordered for luci girl. she makes baby slings for real mothers and i requested a little one for luci and her baby alana. she also brought me this

   

it's my new camera bag. it's padded with fleece in between the fabric and has lots of pockets for my phone, keys, and lens cap. just the right size, drawstrings to close and a thick messenger style strap. in love. did i mention shanna rocks? www.toocutehandbags.com or toocutebabyslings.com

i naturally had to go use my bag and my camera so off to the park luci and i went.

 
she has always been a tad bit fearless. this has been her favorite at the park since she was tiny.

    
the boys were home before we knew it and they brought home homework for the first time since school started. we ate dinner and headed out front to hang out on this unusual hot sept. night.

then the boys decided to joust on scooters with walking sticks!

                                                                               there is actually a reason behind that.........i love the movie a knights tale. i finally broke down and bought it when target offered it for a mere $5. the neighbor came to the door on sunday and asked gaven to play. he answered "not right now we are watching a knights tale". the kid said "didn't you just watch that?" and gave replied " yeah i think my mom is starting a new sunday tradition". so when the same neighbor looked out his window seeing the joust....he started giving lines out from the movie. my kids and i quote lines all the time from a knights tale and from ELF.

the jousting was soon crashed by a boy down the street. he walked by and asked gaven "do you have a cell phone?" and gav said "no?" being a mother i butted in saying "yeah we do" and the kid said "noo....liike his ooown cell phone"  "no dude he doesn't....kids in our house don't need cell phones at 9" and he said "well i do cause sometimes my parents don't come home and i'm alone" i abruptly answered "well my kids have a mother!" this kids a punk or i wouldn't be that way. 

this isn't about working or sahm's. (lu, you are wonderful at what you do from what i know of you) this is about a mother who doesn't seem to pay much attention to a 9yrold boy riding his bike down the middle of the street, crossing a major intersection to go to some market for endless amounts of candy,and tells stories that are so far fetched my 4yr old doesn't believe him. it's not his fault but the kid gets to me. anywhoooo

i was very happy to see my kids go into the play room (aka closet under the stairs! they don't know any different) and dig out costumes for knights and stick horses. proud because they are creative and have imaginations. gav then came out with this old hat and a corn cob pipe and asked me to take his picture..........he was a homeless guy and proceeding to knock on my neighbors door for change! silly boy.

although i was totally exhausted and annoyed getting them in bed after they were all wound up, i just can't wait to see what tomorrow brings us.